The Pursuit of Luckylyness

I remember a writing instructor once warned us that having to use an adverb meant that your choice of adjective or verb was probably not strong enough. It was a styrofoam crutch, a soggy band-aid, a sign of *gasp* bad writing.

You'll note that hyperbole must be the magic word today.

Now, I'm not quite so afraid of the adverbs and other adjective-modifiers, despite the horror that is BAD WRITING. I quite like them. Perhaps it's my rebellion against the same instructor who assigned us to write five-page descriptions of a single museum artwork without using any form of the verb "to be". Ever. In five pages. About art.

But a rage has been bubbling up from inside me, like lava really, in response to month after month of ridiculous adverbs peppering -- nay! poppy-seeding (because those suckers get stuck in your teeth and gums and hurt) -- the usually pleasant layout of Lucky magazine.

Now most of us are pretty familiar with all the girly-magazine-speak and all its puns and implied squeals and sound bites of fabulosity (props to Kimora Lee Simmons for that word. NOT).... but Lucky just seems egregiously annoying in their choice and style of descriptions for their favorite looks or products.

To wit, some major offenders (to be edited, I'm sure, once I'm able to check back a couple of issues, possibly with a diagram of sorts):

Maximum security-level inhabitants
Wildly, utterly, glamourously, brilliantly, irresistibly

The consorts which make frequent conjugal visits
Sexy, chic, modern, hip, smart, on-trend (egad), romantic, edgy

I've come across some entertaining bloggers who feel similarly, and I think their more in-depth writings will prove to be massively amusing -- if you, like me, are ready to smack the stilletoes off an editor these days.